I’m on a mission to be all that I can be. I keep searching myself to see if I can find some sort of greatness. So far, I’m finding nothing notable lol? I have been inspired by the realization that time is fleeting! I keep feeling as if I have a need to try to leave my mark upon this earth. In whatever way that may be. If not in music, then in some other way. I keep searching for a way that I can fulfill that desire. I know the exact moment this became my mission…Hence my mantra in everything of late, ” Something More Than Nothing “.
Being a domestic engineer, ( housewife/ caregiver ) I have given all of my energy and time away for free. I chose this and so I’m not complaining! I just realized that I have given so much away. I’m on a mission to find something that I’m good at and get paid. It goes beyond the desire to get paid. I want something for myself. To fill a void within my spirit with a sense of real accomplishment. I keep thinking that surely after all of these years my domestic engineer skill set is worth something to society. Prompting me to write ” Where’s My PhD “. (See earlier Blog post).
I can tell you exactly how I have become so consumed with my desire to realize and achieve my greatness…My brilliant father, whom I adore. This man in his hay day invented a polystyrene insulation process called “Foamular”. You know it as Owen’s Corning Pink. (the “Pink Panther”), foam board sheets of insulation that you can buy at Home Depot. He developed and designed dies and extruders and a revolutionary process of polystyrene insulation that is used everywhere! A brilliant invention and contribution to the world.
In his recent later years, he became convinced that he had stumbled upon some realization /information about the universe. Information that was so compelling it would change the whole dynamic of what the world thinks they know about the universe! He was on fire about this new revelation that he had come to. He was in the process of writing his book about this topic when sadly, before he could get it all on paper, alzheimer’s robbed him of the ability to be able to complete this great work. This man has a Master’s Degree from Cornell University in Organic Chemistry. He also literally was a rocket scientist at AeroJet General in the 1960’s.
To this day, my father still goes into his home office with an idea that somehow, he can unlock the shackles on his brain to accomplish his goal of writing this perplexing book. He has asked my sister and myself to help him with this task. The progression of this disease has robbed him of the ability to carry out his thought process. Sooooooo sad for me to see this! Sad that this goal my father had, will never be realized in his lifetime. Of all the things to go, his brilliant mind? To see him still have this intense burning desire to fulfill this quest but being unable to do so, struck a chord in me.
Time is fleeting! Do whatever it is that you want to do now! ! Leave your mark upon this earth! Tie up your loose ends. Say what you want to those you love. Leave no stone unturned in your lives. Fix your relationships, right the wrongs… Get to a place that when you leave this earth you have no woulda, shoulda, could ofs…No Regrets!