Change is in the air here. The mornings are nice and cool. The afternoon heat is tolerable. I imagine in a few weeks it will be cold here lol. Cold to us anyway. When you live in extreme heat for so many months, cool feels cold to you!
Halloween is almost here and I’m ready. Like a lot of you, Zoe and I will carve a pumpkin tomorrow night. I bought a couple of LED strobe lights. Good ole Dollar Tree! I find more little things there!
I stole a few hours on Monday that I worked on and posted a few more songs. Here are the links…
Downstream written by Rick Davies
Oh Darlin written by Rick Davies
Lost In The Game my own original.
Something More Than Nothing my own original
I had really hoped that I would find that I’m talented enough to make money doing this. The reality is that I’m not. I find like a lot of other artist that the dream is all in my head. It stays with me but the appreciation is all mine. The challenge of learning a new song to the arrangement and production- the pleasure is all mine. Not a marketable skill… Awwww! I hate that my husband was right on this! He’s been telling me all along that I don’t have a sound that fits in with this market. He told me he doesn’t like my music and he doesn’t “get it.” He rolls his eyes whenever I try to tell him anything regarding my music. So, I gave up trying to include him in it. I just hate that he was right. Part of me so wanted to succeed and show him that I could! I wanted so much to make it.
I could envision a whole other life… One of my own design and happiness. Freedom from the barrage of negativity. Like so many other women, I find myself in increasingly difficult circumstances. I’m fighting overwhelming insurmountable feelings of oppression/ depression too. I’m realizing that at 52, I gave my life away to everyone. I took care of people. I gave all of my time and energy to helping others achieve. I own this, I chose to do this! Looking back though I see that I failed myself miserably. I take care of people all day- There’s no pension or 401K. I have looked after kids, my husband and this house and everything that our lives are about… My Mom for years…
So my reality is overwhelming to me. I find that I need to be employed so that I can move out of this daunting, bleak and uncertain future. I gave away all of my power… god knows my husband is constantly reminding me of this with his words and actions. OMG.
I simply must find a way up and out of this condition. I’m sure the magic cure for all of this is to make money. Then, I won’t feel so helpless and hopeless. If anyone has any sage words of advice or encouragment for displaced housewives they would be so welcomed! I don’t think my heart could bare another negative comment or more ridicule. I have lived a lifetime of that, trust me on this…