Yet another day hard at wor
k trying to get my originals ready for submission. I won’t say where but I have an opportunity of a lifetime coming up here I think. A family friend just happens to know a very influencial music person that could make or break me. It could be a harsh reality or a welcomed critique of my music. If I really think about it, the fear could and would be crippiling. The fear of failing and looking like an idiot is always a possibility. The kick in the ass I would be feeling having not tried is probably even worse. I didn’t get here to not try. Over the past year and a half I have been putting together my YouTube channel and a SoundCloud account.
I have really tried to get myself out there with social media. That proves to be a seperate challenge within itself. I’m still trying to learn more about that, the hows and where to post my stuff. Meanwhile, I have tried to Blog about my life journey along the way… I have written poetry, song lyrics and a few songs along with many covers. I have worked this like a job while keeping the family and house going. My house is clean, meals are on the table. I have kept up with life.
I can tell you that I want beyond want…I yearn to do something with my music. My husband is brutally honest with me and has said that he doesn’t like or get my music. He feels that I will probably be crushed to learn that I’m not that good. He says I’m on par with your average lounge http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwic0Uf-LxI singer. He has been my worst critic worse than myself! He doesn’t think much of my trying to do this. He thinks I will embarrass myself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU0hpmnDwQo Maybe he is just being protective? Either way it’s painful. I’m just like anybody else. I just want someone to believe in me!
When I think of how much my life could change if the right person thought enough of what I can do I get excited… When I think about the possibility of being shut down I see the epitome of emptiness/ hopelessness and maybe embarrassment too for a period of time. Still, I will be glad that I tried. How can lady luck smile on you if you don’t put yourself out there? Most things worth doing are not without risk. All that being said, I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t scared. The rejection could really be painful in all of this. Though I suppose that I should be used to it being married to my worst critic. God, I hope he’s not right… I would love nothing more than to succeed in spite of him!
If I could just work in the music industry in some capacity I would be forever grateful! I just want to feel like an asset somewhere, not just an ass! My opportunity is still a few weeks out but you can bet I will use the time that I have to try to improve!