I Want A Win

A month ago a woman who shall remain nameless told me that she could get my music looked at by one of the biggest names in the music biz. Knowing I’m a small small fish in a very big sea I was thrilled at the possibility. She dropped a name so huge that I couldn’t think past the name. She told me that I would know where I stood and that I wouldn’t have to wonder any more. This was a scary thought because if I didn’t try, I would always kick myself. If I let fear keep me from trying than I would for sure lose. The possibility of what if this person happened to like me also came to the forefront of my mind. This person could really make my career if they thought me good enough. I tortued myself with the thoughts that came flying from my mind. Both negative and positive thoughts.

What ended up being the reality of whatever this review of my music talent was beyond a disapointment. First of all I never dealt directly with whomever looked at and evaluated me. They never acknowledged me through my contact info. The “preliminary notes” that came to me via email were from the woman who told me she could get my stuff looked at. She is an in-law…I thought maybe I could trust her to be credible

 in what she was saying. Maybe she was? Regardless what came back was mostly constructive criticism of my vocals. I believe it’s probably accurate. Gave me pointers sort of ? Didn’t tell me that I suck… said my originals were solid and that I should copyright  them…I was told too much melancholy would send the club goers running for the door. Was told to incorporate jazz and uptempo songs in my set list. Open my mouth wider when I sing. Drink tea with honey. Don’t huddle over my keyboard and sing often and apart from my keyboard. I was told their is a reason that people stand when they sing… So, I declared that I would try all of these things! Here is an example of standing lol… I hadn’t tried this before…

I took the critique in and I had hoped for some kind words of real encouragement that I didn’t get. I assume this person didn’t like me that much. What was even harder to take was this woman then felt it was her place to elaborate on the obvious…she said ” So sorry their is no golden ticket to a recording studio in LA. in your near future.” A few days later a letter from her telling me that she kept worrying that I must be so crestfallen by the comments. It became clear that this woman had no intention of providing me with encouragement. I could tell by her choice of words that she wanted to embarrass/shame me with attempt at trying. This really made me sad…

I wrote to her as if I would have had the real, true experience. I thanked her for taking her time to be the go between for me. I asked her to thank her friend and the big name producer for their time and consideration as well. I told her that  although it wasn’t all I’d hoped for it was great to have the opportunity to try. I also explained that I would work on improving by trying all of the suggestions that were made in the comments.  I explained that I would keep plugging away at it even if it never takes me anywhere because It’s personal to me. I wished her well.

I tried to not take it all to heart…after all, I’ll never know who really looked at my music other than her lol. I was sad that I made/ allowed myself to be so vulnerable. I still don’t know what I think about the whole thing… Wow, just wow…OUCH! I suppose I should be greatful I didn’t have to endure the scathing and torturous critique of Simon Cowell!! Still, this was humbling enough…

Not long after this my Granddaughter caught the stomach flu. I did also, it was a horrible bug for more than a week leaving me just ravaged. This flu went from gut to sore throat exiting with a temp. of 103! Dr. said it was a really bad Influenza B.

I have this to say about it.

I am NOT a gracious host, hit the road influenza type B! You have not been fun, you’re outta here!

The flu on the heels of this unfortunate supposed critique…left a bad taste to say the least.

I’m ready for a personal  

 Win!

 

 

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Author: tynajoymetzner

I've been a stay at home Mom for many years...Have earned a PhD in life experience. My oldest is 30 and my youngest is 13. On a quest to see all that I can be now. I am a musician, singer/ songwriter. In the process of trying to become marketable. Would love to make money doing what I love! I love to do many domestic things also. Nothing I do seems to be profitable. Guess I am at a point in life that I would like to be compensated . My whole life I have given freely. Now, show me my money making niche. Still in the process of figuring that out.

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