I just realized that I have had my YouTube channel for a year now. In this year I have spent a lot of my energy and time trying to learn, produce and execute solid pieces to post on my channel. It’s been a lot of fun, mostly personally rewarding. I have also spent a great deal of time trying to learn how to use social media. The etiquette and learning involved is a whole world within itself. I’m ashamed to admit that it took me a while to realize that I had been tweeting my YouTube links to myself rather than to whomever I was trying to tweet. Lol. I have put a lot of energy into trying to navigate through… to…??? My hope was to try to be discovered. You would think that by this time in life, I would have given that dream up long ago!
Not me, I wanted to prove somehow that I was good enough to get paid. I suppose you can call me a dreamer… I thought maybe now that I have time, I could get back to where I left off before I raised my kids. I have had fun revisiting that part of me that just wants to play. I will continue onward.
My husband has been very vocal, ( pardon the pun), about my music. He told me that he doesn’t ” get ” my music. He doesn’t like it. It isn’t funky or trendy enough. He’s always telling me that I need to play current stuff. Imitate what is popular. I tried as a test. I learned and posted All Of Me, a John Legend cover. Everybody that does covers, covered that song! To this day it is my least viewed YouTube song! It was buried in the sea of All Of Me covers…
I decided that my music is just that… mine. I haven’t even figured out what classification/ genre I am! It is however an expression of what comes from my heart and soul. If it is never realized by anyone else as special, it is to me.
I have enjoyed the gift of being able to play without having to read music. It flows through me. It’s an intensely personal treasure. There it seems, it will stay…just for me to appreciate. In this past year I have come to know that I can write songs! This I hadn’t tried when I was young. I have enjoyed the process of doing that and have written three original songs so far. Here are the links…
Lost In The Game
Shiny New View
Something More Than Nothing
Something More Than Nothing (violin piece)
Over the past year, these two songs are my most viewed songs.
Here is a complete list of the rest…
Color My World
Till We Meet Again
Do You Dream Of Me
You Know Like I Know
Saturday In The Park
Nous Vivons Ensemble
The Christmas Song
All Of Me
Songs I Could Just Play As A Kid
Could It Be Magic
Us And Them
Fool’s Overture even though this is a SoundCloud link I am including it in my cover list.
I have had very little feedback on any of this. The silence has been deafening. I ‘m sure I should be glad that I haven’t had to endure negative, critical and nasty comments! I did have a few comments on the Terry Kath covers that I do. The comments were from his loyal fans thanking me for doing the songs. They would also tell me how sad they are that he is gone. He died 35 years ago and is still revered. *Terry Kath was the husky voiced guitarist from the band Chicago.
I guess every hope and dream I have of doing this can be played out in my head. Next best thing to actually being there doing it! “Dreams must be realized, in your head!” A line from my most recent original, Lost In The Game.
Lost In The Game
What do I have to do to get through here? I want so much to be heard. I have so much that I want to say now, the words are falling into place. I’m reaching far beyond what’s comfortable, I’m hoping to catch my big break-
I don’t understand why it’s so difficult, to find my niche and stake my place. It’s harder than I thought to impress you, I find I’m lost in the game! Maybe- It’s too late for me, I missed my chance long ago. I was busy, with life you know- Please tell me how to play the game.
Lately, I’ve come to see, dreams must be realized in your head. I want this so much, I need some help and luck- To help me find my way through this maze. I want to play but I’m lost in the game.