This week has been a lot about frustration. My patience has been tried to a breaking point. I’m so fed up with having to deal with DCS I could scream. I’m in the process of trying to adopt my Granddaughter. I’m met with every kind of frustration and obstacle at every encounter I have with this agency. They schedule appointments they don’t keep, canceling at the very last minute. Showing absolutely no regard/respect, for my time.
I have had this agency in my life for nearly two years now. I can’t count the number of caseworkers we have had. They don’t do the things they say they will. Example, this child still has no counselor. They haven’t started counseling services yet! Another example, they were supposed to do a Home Study when she first arrived to us. A Home Study evaluates the safety and suitability of the home for Foster Care placement. Now, we are almost finished and have a court date to finalize the adoption, and they are scrambling to cover their asses. We just did the Home Study on Thursday after having this child for almost two years! They don’t communicate and tell you what you need to do until they have to. Then, you are expected to drop everything to accommodate their objectives and requirements.
For the past six months I have asked the workers what we need to do to get things moving along. They never tell you much of anything until it’s a panic situation for them to cover their butt! I long ago finished the adoption paperwork they requested from me. Three months ago to be exact. I had a conversation about expediting the stipend paperwork so that we can have some financial relief as we have never had any! The worker told me she would submit the stipend packet A.S.A.P. Yesterday, she told me she has not yet gotten around to it! Three months has gone by but she can’t be bothered to try to help us get some financial relief that we are entitled to have.
We found out from the agency that came out to do our Home Study it should have been done when Alissa first came to us. It is ridiculous to do it two years later! We didn’t understand what it was for even. We thought it was part of the adoption process and we were annoyed about having to do it. My adoption attorney was stumped as to why we had to do it for the adoption and he questioned the reasoning and need for it in an email to the DCS dept.
The department responded to his email by questioning our integrity by implying that we had something to hide. This made me furious! Have you seen my home? Do you know how many people from the dept have been in and out of my home? What is their to hide? I do the best that I can to maintain and make nice, our modest little home!
Maybe it’s not a lavish home but it is comfortable, clean and certainly kid friendly! Trust me, I work hard here as I have taken this on as my full time job! I have been totally affronted by the comments and demeanor of this dept. They really have taken any joy out of the process of trying to step up and take this on. Why they have to make it so hard for Kinship FosterCare and Adoption, I have no clue. I’m wanting to be done with living in constant scrutiny at the mercy of this dept!
We just want to move on and get through this nightmare process! We are now being told that our Oct.24 final hearing date will have to be bumped back because they haven’t fingerprinted us yet. They say it takes 6-8 weeks to get back and enter the findings to the court. Shouldn’t they have done this long ago? Why did they wait??? I have been asking and asking what is left to be done on the case! I’m Furious! Then, the matter of the appeal process is holding things up. My daughter tried to appeal the paternal severance. She quickly realized it would do no good to fight the decision. She told her attorney to drop the appeal. Her attorney called my adoption attorney to explain that they had dropped the appeal and we could proceed with the adoption. My daughters court appointed attorney never filed a formal dismissal with the court! So as far as the court is concerned, the appeal is still proceeding! I am being told that once the court receives the filing for dismissal, the 30 day waiting period for appeal begins again! My daughter has yet another 30 days in which to appeal. I’m over this… I’m exhausted with the process, the scrutiny, the attitude of the dept.constant appointments from paper pushers that don’t do anything! I told my adoption attorney that I’m so fed up with the dept that I want to get our local ABC 15 News affiliate involved. Could they make this any harder? I am simply trying to step up and take care of my Granddaughter who desperately needs and deserves a better life than what she had been given! Making her legally a part of our family and the closure that will bring on a life fraught with abuse and neglect! Along with all the legal and departmental and procedural issues, I have the daily care and attention to render that this sweet girl needs. Our own 14 year old must be feeling put upon and put out with all of the time, energy and frustration this puts on our family. Enough!!! Get it together people and let us be done with this adoption process!
A constant barrage of intake workers, attorneys and now a court advocate are in my home pushing paper. Documenting that they have been out to see us but not much else gets done! Not even desperately needed counseling services for this child have been started.
Last night the newly appointed court advocate came. She is a new volunteer and had not been briefed on the case at all. The Foster Care Review Board put this advocate on the case after the last review a few weeks ago. I guess it became clear that DCS is dropping the ball with gaps in services and no case plan was submitted to the board as was required. I had a long talk with the advocate about the failings and frustrations we are having with this case. She eagerly took notes and told us that she would comprise a letter to the judge expressing our frustrations with the dept. I have hope that she can and will be our voice at the next hearing on the case which is scheduled for Oct. 3rd.
Meanwhile, I’m trying to just get through all of this day by day, each encounter. Still trying my damndest to rise above and do my best with everything I am handed. I am however, so angry and thoroughly exausted. Calgon, take me away…
Or how about this, my favorite Escape – Who Controls The Stars…
This however, speaks volumes. Alissa with her cousin, (my Granddaughter Kadee). I love this pic! I’m trying to give this child the best I have within my ability. I haven’t got the time and patience for this bureaucratic crap! Get it together people and let’s be done! I want to be DONE!