Just Between Me And My Maker, My Musical Savant

The problem with being a musical savant is that people are always trying to change you. They always treat you as sub par. You are never really excepted or respected as a musician. As if what they are hearing you play, doesn’t exsist. They tell you that you need to learn to read music and that you need to take lessons. I understood this as a kid because my school band teacher would take me out of core classes like math and english to try to teach me how to read music. My parents tried to give me piano lessons a few different times in my childhood years.

I tried to learn but I just wanted to play. I didn’t want to have to think about what I was doing and why, I just wanted to play…
Fool’s Overture
Don’t Leave Me Now
These are songs written by Roger Hodgson of Supertramp. I played these as a young teen.

Downstream
Casual Conversations
These are a few songs written by the other feature songwriter of Supertramp, Rick Davies. I can sing Rick’s songs as his voice is within my range. I don’t sing Roger Hodgson’s songs because his vocal range is just too high for me and I wouldn’t do the song justice. So, I just don’t.
Supertramp song were so much fun to learn and play.

Learning and playing songs the way that I do is a process. It isn’t as if I can just play any song. My creative process is different than you might think. Songs begin to take shape…It starts with a couple of chords that stand out to me. Then I find other chords that match whatever I am covering and I begin to build on that. Sometimes, some chords are hard for me to discern. Sometimes I struggle to hear and find them by ear. When I finally do, it comes together and flows. Sometimes I replace a chord or two with what sounds best to me. Creating and making it my own arrangement of a song. Recognizable but yet not exactly the same…
Could It Be Magic my attempt at recreating Barry Manilow’s mega hit.

This is my go to song when I feel that people are critical or flat out ambivalent to what I’m trying to accomplish. Robert Lamn from Chicago says it so well!
Critic’s Choice

This year was especially personally gratifying to me. I found out that I’m not limited in music to what I hear. I can also compose! I can write songs of my own and, I did!
Something More Than Nothing
My first original. Near and dear to my heart.
My first attempt at composing with another instrument, violin with piano…
Composed version…
Lost In The Game
Shiny New View (awaiting lyrics)

I spent some time reflecting on this past year yesterday. I find in retrospect that it was a terrific year for me personally. Full of self fulfillment. I’m humbled and grateful that I was able to take this year to work on me and explore my savant. I was able to challenge myself to see what I could accomplish. I spent lots of time and energy on developing and revisiting this gift. It was very much a spiritual type of experience in that I found it was very personal to me. I also found that it isn’t something that can be shared and appreciated by others. The appreciation for my music is solely mine. I was not able to generate fans or enthusiasm via social media platforms. I shared my tracks and videos on YouTube and on SoundCloud. While I had a decent amount of views/plays… Not much feedback! I was disappointed to find that I’m really the only one that enjoys this… It’s as if it is a personal gift between me and my maker.

That being said, I still appreciate the gift so much. I can’t explain the feeling I have just getting lost in this. My mind goes somewhere else and music just flows through me. I love the exhilarating feeling I get when I play. I get to take a break from problems, stress and things I don’t want to think about. For that, I’m grateful. I so appreciate the gift, so thank you God!
It’s been a terrific year!

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New Hair And New Goals for 2015

Something More Than Nothing
A Blog about life and living through my life experience and perspective. I am a writer, singer/songwriter childhood savant musician…Trying to find my niche and stake my place in society…

Tuesday, December 30, 2014
New Hair And Big Dreams
It’s amazing what a haircut can do! Good way to ring in the New Year. Start off fresh and new. It helps when you find a great hair designer, a master with scissors and a blow dryer. I met one such individual. Our friend Jimmy of PhoVan introduced me to Hieu Le, A young vietnamese guy that cuts hair in a salon called Hung’s in the Mekong Center off of Dobson Rd., here in the valley of the sun. He was an absolute master with scissors. His scissors were flying through my thick mop of hair. He really worked my hair into shape. When he got done my hair wasn’t even recognizable to me. It was soft, manageable and actually pretty lol. I was so grateful to this guy! Probably the best haircut I personally have ever had!

Now to see if I can do this everyday myself lol…

In this next year I am hoping that we will be purchasing a new car. I have had it with car problems that threaten and plague me. Every issue more potentially costly than the last. I feel I am always limping along from one bad part to the next. Damned Chryslers, never again! The only good thing going for the two cars that we have is that they paid for in full! No car payments. No debt…
This is a huge plus for a one income family.
I will however be searching to see what deals can be found on something newer. The cars we have
are very old and were never meant to last forever lol. I don’t know of any forever cars. One of our cars is 15 years old! In this past year I have really been appreciative to have a wonderful mechanic son in law. He has helped us keep these old cars limping down the road…Thank you Sam!

Two very important services that keep people going… A good hairdresser and a great mechanic! Both are hard to find!
I know that my poor son in law cringes when we call him with car trouble. He has been urging us to get a new car for awhile now. My husband is stubborn. He doesn’t want a car payment. I understand this but I also know that the day is coming that we are just going to need to bite the bullet and do it.

*I would dearly love to make the extra money that this will cost us. I would feel very accomplished in being able to do so. This is a goal of mine for 2015.

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Son in law Sam, daughter Delcee and G-kids Korbin and Kadee.

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Out With The Old And In With The New

New beginnings, new thoughts and goals. Out with the old and in with the new. What have you got going on in your head for 2015? I am just now sitting down to think about this. I have no idea… I spent all of 2014 focused on my music. I worked hard at it. Really gave it a good shot! Exausted myself with it. So maybe my focus ought to be somewhere else this year? I will drive myself crazy and be very unhappy if I continue on the same path… What a disappointment that was to realize.

I still have the same affirmation in mind though. “Whatever I touch/ create, there I will prosper monetarily. Whatever touches me, I will make better.” I still firmly believe that something more than being a housewife is in me to do. I want to leave my mark upon this earth somewhere! Not to mention feeling a sense of accomplishment all the way to the bank. I still want to get paid!

I’m glad that I have been available for my family. I have been able to be of help to my grown kids, my husband and my almost 13 year old daughter, the youngest. I have picked up the slack for everyone and kept everbody going and moving forward. I watched grankids so that my daughter could do her internship at a law firm. We accomplished that. She has finished her AA degree with her certification in ParaLegal and has interned at the most prestigious personal injury specialists office in the valley.

Now, what am I going to do? Where is my second act? Where is my accomplishment? How and where do I make my mark? Talk about lost, I’m feeling it! I have been a domestic engineer for so long that I am clueless. How do I turn my life experience into something marketable? I have a varied skillset but nothing that I have tried to use for monetary gain. I would love to own and run my own
dessert shoppe. Right by a theater where people could come after the movie lol. Coffee, tea and desserts…I could see myself doing and enjoying that.

I could always see myself owning a bed and breakfast… Lots of work I’m sure. I have lots of energy, good health and an active mind. Surely I can create a niche for myself in society? The problems associated with making a career out of being a domestic engineer are many. The most obvious are financial. No retirement and no 401K! Nothing! The hit to your self esteem is even worse than that! The isolation is almost worse than either of those things previously mentioned! The daunting what do I do with and for myself now realizations at 52 years old…

I have a lot to figure out and think through. Maybe 2015 will be full of wonderful positive life
changing opportunities ! Maybe I will just ponder on this over my morning coffee…

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I’m Finished Elfing Around

I finished up with my Elfing . It has been a lot of fun spreading good cheer this year! I think I did more of this than I ever have. I feel like I could make a career out of being a goodwill ambassador.
My personal Christmas list of wants is small… Mostly of things you can’t put under the tree. I worked hard this year on my music. I really had hoped to get somewhere with it. I wrote three song

s… I actually became a songwriter this year.

 

I worked really hard on arranging. Trying to put my sound into the covers that I play. I worked hard on trying to learn and understand social media. That in itself has been as time consuming as learning new material lol. It has been a busy year with all of this. I tried  to find places to post all of these creations.

As I said, what I want can’t be found under a Christmas tree. I want to be found by someone in the music industry that finds me interesting. I want to make money with this… ” Let me do it ” ! I’m always asking the universe to use me. I want to be a brand, a spokesperson for my generation! Let me do it! Find a place for me! I want so much to be able to get to the next level, whatever that is lol…

Mostly, it has been frustrating… What I have found to be the hardest is the deafning silence. It screams louder than words at times… I have been increasing my YouTube views and my SoundCloud Stats by a lot. Very little feedback comes back. Lots of views, little feedback.

I had also hoped that I would get a positive response back from Roger Hodgson. He is one of the original Supertramp songwriters. I cover a few of the songs that he has written. I desperately wanted to be able to post my covers of his on my YouTube channel. They are incredibly complex songs that I have a real heart for. I have asked him a few times for permission to do so. I have heard nothing back…

Fool’s Overture
Don’t Leave Me Now

These are a few of Roger Hodgson’s greatest songs. I would dearly love to have his permission to cover them. I have written to him twice about this…

As you can see, the things that are on my wish list aren’t products you can buy. They are just personal accomplishments that I strive for. Although a new video camera to record better quality music videos would be on my list lol. My iPad just doesn’t quite cut it for recording…

Here’s hoping that those things that you desire, (the things that Santa can’t bring), find you! May you acquire and commandeer these things on your personal wish list! No matter how big or how small, never give up the dream!

I leave you with this affirmation that I wrote to myself earlier in the year.

Whatever I create and touch, there I will prosper monetarily. Whatever touches me, I will make better!

Have a great Christmas all!

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Humble Pie Is Not My Choice Of Just Desserts

So this is it, the last day of my FundMe project. It’s unfortunate that this is all rolled up into the holidays. When I set my 3 month goal/ project up, I didn’t factor that in I suppose. It was a silly dream in retrospect to try to convince complete strangers to contribute and support you. This I suppose is not the way society or this crowdfunding site works. I did however give it my best with lots of energy and updates. I found that gaining fans is a difficult task. Getting myself out there in social media hasn’t done anything for me and is quite lonely. The rejection through silence factor in all of this effort is deafening!

I don’t know what it takes to get before an audience who might actually like your music. I think any artist who subjects themselves to all of this social media has to have an abundance of self esteem and supreme confidence. I believe the realities are harsh and the rewards are few for the majority of us.

I will continue to create and produce “my music” for me because it makes me happy. The question of anyone else thinking that my music is special in any way has been answered for me… I’m understanding that this savant like gift I have been given is only enjoyable to me. Others are not that interested in it. Reality bites…Painfully humbling!

In completing this crowdfunding project I am posting the link one more time.
FundMe Project Link

The song at the beginning of this post is really relate-able to anyone trying to put themselves out there and getting nothing back…

Thanks FundMe for the opportunity, it’s been real…😔

 

The Many Hats We Wear, Mine Is Of Christmas Elf Today.

It is shaping up to be a busy week! I have been decorating, shopping, wrapping, visiting and today, baking! I will be baking like a mad fool for the remainder of the week. I am making loaves of bread to go along with my warm and cozy gift platter theme. I bought hot chocolate, international coffees, tea and assorted nice jams.

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The only thing missing is the bread that I am going to bake later in the week. I am also going to throw in a movie for each family.
As you can probably see, I bought these Christmasy platters at the dollar store. You can of course buy very nice ceramic or glass platters. This is just a cozy platter for my own family.

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I have plenty of baking ahead today. I am making several different cookies for my friends and relatives. I fully enjoy the opportunity to bake, decorate and spread good cheer. If I could create a paid position for myself it would be in the realm of good will ambassador lol.
I leave you with this link… My yuletide video Christmas greeting…I’ll Be Home For Christmas

Christmas Whimsy Is All Around, Don’t Forget To Enjoy It!

Christmas Whimsy Is All Around Don’t Forget To Enjoy It!

We are in the process of setting this village up. This is our train villiage from last year. We aren’t having a big party this year. Just my kids and their families will be here this Saturday eve for a family get together. My father is not doing well. His health has declined drastically in just the past couple of weeks. We fear his last days are here. So rather than have a big event we are keeping it simple this year. I went to see my Dad this past weekend. This is a pic of Zoe with him this past Saturday.

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This was our village last year…

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If we try hard enough we can envision ourselves in the village. This is why I love them so. I like to get lost in the whimsy of Christmas. I love that my family is full of little kids who keep Christmas fun!