Listen To This My Nemesis

Listen To This My Nemesis

You are the greatest obstacle to overcome. You kick me when I’m down. Your complete lack of compassion encompasses me- You truly are my nemesis. I can count on the misery that you dole and, on you being an asshole. Defeating me is paramount to your agenda.

The more you tell me I’m worthless, the harder I work to prove you wrong. You don’t yet understand the intensity of my might. One day my dreams will be realized and I will change my plight. All the crap you threw my way, will come back to haunt you again one day. Especially when I can walk away, from you.

Don’t saddle me with your mental health issues for I seek a better life. What doesn’t kill you makes you, invincible! They say the best revenge is living well. We’ll see, time will tell. Economic impoverishment keeps me tied to you, it’s been your weapon and, the glue. It keeps me stuck here, having to endure you.

Oppression caused some depression until I found my voice. I feel like a tornado gaining in strength. Picking up the negative and using it toward empowerment. You never know whats going to come out of my mind gathering thoughts and, fly right out of my mouth!

One thing is for sure, you won’t break me. You won’t defeat me, you know you can’t beat me- Be my nemesis if you must but this I say to you, “eat my dust!” I’m on the winning side of this, my arch-rival, my, nemesis.

* I’m not sure if this will be song lyrics or just a piece of writing. I’m finding writing to be absolutely cathartic! Love writing! Have a great day and maybe take a minute to confront your nemesis. On paper or in cyber space, you will probably feel better!

 

  

Who Controls The Stars

Who Controls The Stars

If its written in the stars that we are who we are, then who controls the stars? I’m looking up above hoping to find peace and that all encompassing love- Sitting here, feeling empty. Surely someone up there sees what this life is for me, to have to overcome.  I’ve done it to myself with a choice I made long ago. I could sure use some help to turn things around.

Some acknowledgement from above that I’m worth more than this. More than, insults, constant blame and shame. This marriage is too hard. What a waste it will be if I never get to see, something good come from all this pain. I’ve waited decades for my time to shine and now I’m wishing on stars…Why am I the only who sees a pot of gold in me?

Time is fleeting, my creators are gone. I’m left here alone to navigate. I miss them all so much, death is funny like that. Still I have a burning, yearning desire to accomplish and create. To be and to see all that I can do.  I’m looking for a hand up. I’m asking the universe to turn the tides for me. So I sit here wishing on stars and wondering who controls the stars. Waiting for someone to believe in me…

The Stuff…A Sad Task Of Memories

House Written by Sir Elton John. Cover by Tyna J. Metzner: https://youtu.be/uRtxhwJ_LsE

I baked this cake today to take to a family gathering. We are going down to Tucson to see my Dad’s wife Terry and my sister Joy. Terry wants us to go through Dad’s office and divide up some of his pics and plaques. It will be sad I’m sure. I hope we can have minimal tears. Grief is exhausting!
I miss my Dad. He was my rock of Gibraltar.
I always think it’s so strange that we leave the planet without so much as a lipstick.

I chose to feature House in this post since we are will be going through Dad’s things. I think he would like the song anyway.

Shiny New View, An Original Piano Piece

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSoD8v_hEFk ⬅️click here  

Sunday was a day spent out in the garden. The temp was about 85 degrees. The sun was warm and bright with a slight breeze. Perfect outside! We planted a few things and checked on our young garden. Everything appears to be happy in the beds. I had started all of our seeds in pony pack containers. We recently transfered the seedlings to the beds.

  

  

This next idea came from YouTube of course. My husband saw this and wanted to try it. The Walmart shopping bags are just so classy I think lol. The theory is that the act as a wick to draw the water from the pool up into the soil to keep them watered. Which may work well in the AZ climate that is sooooo dry. It’s an experiment. We planted corn in the bags.

Even my old BFF kitty enjoyed the sunshine yesterday! Twink Darling is the best. I love that she likes to hang out in the backyard with us!

 

I’m most proud of this SoundCloud track…

Shiny New View my original ⬅️click here lol

I’m A Dreamer And Romantic At Heart

I have had a busy week. With little time for fun. I did however steal a few moments to escape in some much needed zoning of my mind. This is what ecapism sounds like!

Dreamer written by Roger Hodgson ( my SoundCloud cover ) ⬅️click on this for link…

Don’t Leave Me Now written by Roger Hodgson my Facebook cover video ⬅️ click here for link…

  

Colour My World And My Personal Space

I put away my St. Patrick’s decor today. Out came all of my Easter treasures lol. Most of my Easter Decor is homemade. The centerpieces and wreaths are homemade.



                                                        I made this wreath. So much fun to do. I love bright flowers in my centerpieces and wreaths.



This Easter Village is precious to me. I have had it around for many Easters. I hated having to dig around in my Christmas boxes for villiage cords so I found a remedy. I bought battery opporated tealight candles. I got out my glue gun and affixed the tealights to the village houses where the bulbs would usually go. They have a beautiful flickering, glowing ambience and I can change the batteries when needed. No more pesky electrical cords to mess with!

                                           Allisa was thrilled to find the house all decorated for Easter when she arrived home from school. It’s so much fun to see  her enthusiasm  for each holiday. She loves the decorating just as I do. 





Colour My World written by Chicago SoundCloud Cover (please click on this link) 



                                                   This is our kitchen table



                        Dining Room Table. I Made this Centerpiece too.



              This homemade centerpiece is my favorite… I love the bright colors!



Waterslide Fun It Was 90+ In Phoenix Last Weekend

We had a chance last weekend to have enjoy our waterslide. Zoe is getting too big and is too cool now for enjoying the slide. Awwww, they grow up so fast! We have plenty of G-kids that still enjoy this so we drug out the slide and put it up. It is a pain to put up and take down so we only do this once or twice a year. This weekend it was 90 degrees so we determined that it was good slide weather.



                Howard watched the kids the whole afternoon. Nobody got hurt! Not one bruise or complaint!       

Everyone seemed to have a great time! I enjoyed spending some time with my own daughters! Fun! 



                                                              With Delcee and Zoe                          

   Britt was camera shy and didn’t want to get in our selfie…



What a great day…

                                                                     Delcee and Britt chatting away…

Could It Be Magic, Where’s A Leprechaun When You Need One?

I could really use a leprechaun right about now. I love the whimsical idea of a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. While I wish to catch a leprechaun in the yard, I’m about creating my own personal magic.

 

 

SoundCloud Could It Be Magic written by Barry Manilow

                       Click here⬆️ 

I’m wishing on stars and living my Cinderella existence. Not looking for a Prince… Looking for my own money making, self sufficient self!   Self fulfillment!





These adorn the walls and enchant my imagination every March. A reminder to believe in and desire something more than what I can see, and what appears to be my plight! 





May you find your own pot of gold from within.

Spring Break Is In The Yard This Year…

It’s Spring Break in our school district and the natives are restless! We were going to go out of town to camp but ran into old car issues. After the disappointment of not being able to leave town, I talked everybody into making the best of it! We ended up having a camping party instead. In the backyard. We set up two large tents and invited some of the G-kids. The older 3 of Britt’s kids stayed all night with us. Britt and Adam stayed for dinner and marshmallow roasting for Smore’s. It was a realistic camping experience for the kids.





I slept out in the tent among four of my G-kids. I didn’t sleep a wink but I loved being there in the moment with them! I was laying there thinking how nice it was to be able to hang out with them and have this experience with them! They are all precious and seemed to really appreciate the camping experience! 

Zoe had her BFF Paige stay over night. They had a whole tent to themselves. 



I happened to have some little LED pillar candles from the dollar store that change colors. I had enough for each child to have one for a night light. That was kind of fun to have in the tent! I’m a sucker for LED anything lol. Fun!

Nobody slept well lol so everyone was tired. We did however keep them busy the next day with activities. The kids played Just Dance and Sing It on the Wii for hours. I took them on a walk. We had a great sleepover!



Don’t you just love the Christmas paper plates and napkins left over from Christmas lol classy huh? Hey, we were camping!

Love these kids!

Universe Hear My Plea

Click on this link➡️ Something More Than Nothing
I always say that I have a PhD in life experience. I keep gaining more of that experience the older I get. I’m looking for a way to change my life circumstances as I find that I am sorely dissatisfied. I greatly wish to command personal satisfac

tion through achieving something that I create. I wish to find empowerment through sharing my life experience.  One of these fine days I’m going to find my niche and create a better path for myself. Surely the Universe hears my plea for change? I have chosen to convey my current life circumstance and overall discontent through a song that I wrote last year. I was insistent on copywriting this song as it pretty much sums up life currently. I had hoped that the process of writing, creating and executing would empower me and propell me into my greater self that is in here, I swear. The greater self that has had enough and wishes to be self reliant. I thought that if I had a copywrite, the document itself would remind me that I’m better than a lot of this that I endure. I had hoped that maybe my life experience would help someone else recognize and take steps toward empowerment. So I set about trying to get this heard… I was sad that I really got no response back. Other than Facebook friends claiming to like it, I didn’t see any interest in it. It is however a true extension of my personal experience and hope for change. It was the greatest experience to create it and I am still personally proud of it!

Something More Than Nothing

Why can’t you see that I’m real and breathing and I have a wish to fulfill. I want to know that there’s more than nothing.  In my heart I know that there’s something. I know there’s been times before that I, I should’ve walked out that door and I, sometimes think that I want to- but I know, how far can I go, it’s not just me so I just have to be…

I find myself trying to explain things away, but the pain of loving you, follows me. So I wait for the day I can feel free, to be just me. So I wait, for the day, that I can change-  something more than nothing.

If I could do it all again differently, I’d write, a better part for me. I’d show the world just who I can be, the queen, of something more than nothin!

I’d take the time to invest in me- to see all that I can be. It’s not enough to settle for nothing. If your heart tells you this than find something and you’ll see, just like me, that you can do something more than nothing.

*I still have a burning desire to make this particular part of my life experience count for something. It would be poetic justice on so many levels!!