Chapel For Tears And Fears

My birthday present! Haven’t had a chance to use it yet. It’s so lovely and sturdy! Nice, nice stoneware! I decided that I would collect the seasonal pieces of the Temp-tations stoneware. This is a spring and summer piece!  So pretty! Thx Tara @QVC! With the amount of heat projected to hit Phoenix this weekend, I can’t see myself turning on the oven. It may be record breaking heat! Like 120 degrees HOT! Don’t have much ambition to cook when temps are 115 and above. Salads become a mainstay.

Father’s Day is around the corner and I want to try to make it special. We have talked about trying to beat the heat this weekend at a really nice local community pool. Nice water slides and features are in abundance at this quaint neighborhood park. We are meeting Britt and the G-kids there for a potluck. I will be baking later this am before the heat of the day.

Weighing heavily on my mind/ heart today is my daughter. Alissa’s Mom. She is redefining hitting rock bottom. Her bottom appears to be bottomless! She now is in the hospital for health issues! I suspect that she has been ill for a very long time! She awaits surgery today to have her gall bladder removed. This gal has been through so much pain and heartache, losing her whole world… I have been so worried for her. Now a really difficult painful health issue on top of it all? Kidney infection and pancreatitis as well all at once? Surely this is her rock bottom? I feel so bad for her having to lay there in a hospital bed contemplating all of her harsh realities. Her husband, a real schmuck has left her. He won’t when return her calls. Laying there feeling abandoned by all of us I’m sure. Heart wrenching to watch. I’m doing the best that I can to encourage her and trying to help her with a game plan for her future. The reality is that I have her daughter. I am in the process of adopting her daughter because the state took her parental rights away. Surely on some level she must completely resent me for having to do so. This is what I question about religion… The things we are called to do sometimes are horrendous ! I never thought that I would have to do the things that I have done to my own daughter. Taking her most precious and dearest treasure, her daughter from her. UGH!

I know in my head that raising Alissa is the right thing and a good thing for this little girl. It is however the cruelest most harsh reality for my daughter. It tears at my heart that my daughter is hurting so much! When I got the text from my daughter, I wasn’t at all surprised to hear that she is having health issues. When I saw her last in court, is was clear to me she was ill. The whites of her eyes had a yellow cast to them and I recall telling her sisters I was worried about her liver. Turns out, that is a common symptom of gall bladder disease. I believe she has been ill with this for a long time. I really have hope that after the surgery, she finds that she feels better than she has in a long time!

I’m hoping that she will get to a point emotionally that she decides it’s time to fight and advocate for herself. Become proactive and show us all what it is to come back from the depths of hell rather than linger there… Hard as hell to watch and be a part of this horrific downward spiral. I will do my best to encourage and be there for her without preaching and imposing my will. I know ultimately this is her fight and plight to overcome. I can tell you for sure that I am really tired of watching this kid sink to the bottom! You never stop worrying about your kids. You hope that you can trust them to take good care of themselves and excersise good judgment in most things…when they don’t as adults, it’s hard as hell to watch!

I went to the hospital to visit my daughter. I missed seeing her before surgery because they took her in early. I waited in the surgery waiting area. While I was there, I visited the serene little chapel next to the OR suite. I haven’t set foot in a religious dwelling for years. It felt nice to be in this small, serene, quaint room. I prayed for my daughter. It felt good to take time to do that!

  • Update-my daughter is starting to feel better and recovering well after surgery yesterday! Thank God! I am truly grateful!

My Escape…


Author: tynajoymetzner

I've been a stay at home Mom for many years...Have earned a PhD in life experience. My oldest is 33 and my youngest is 15. This year, I adopted my 5 year old Granddaughter. On a quest to see all that I can be now. I am a musician, singer/ songwriter. In the process of trying to become marketable. Please visit and subscribe to my YouTube channel Would love to make money doing what I love! I love to do many domestic things also. Nothing I do seems to be profitable. Guess I am at a point in life that I would like to be compensated . My whole life I have given freely. I recently had a the wonderful opportunity to submit my music to Warner Bros Records for consideration to the label! They liked my music but requested that I get in the game by acquiring 20k followers. Appearantly, that what it takes to get signed to a major label! Sure WB, I'm working on it! You have to have a huge following to land a recording contract. Gone are the days where a label can and will make you...

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